Overall I really enjoyed your storybook introduction, it’s entertaining, it’s appealing aesthetically, and gives a very nice amount of information. I like how you explained the five different parts of a soul first before you introduced the actual characters and that was what drew me into your story. However I feel that you could expound a little more fully on what happened with Sita and Indrajit, also more on what Rama’s objective is. I did notice a few grammar errors in the beginning of the introduction such as: you used “leaded” which should be “led”. I think these errors are mostly in the second paragraph and it might help if you have someone else read it or say your sentences aloud. Most of your errors include missing articles such as “the” which helps the sentence flow smoothly. Reading through it again, I would also like to see a little more description of the different parts of a soul because some aspects are more fully covered in your introduction than others. However I can see that you’re trying hard not to give away any parts of the actual storybook and I think you have a great direction for your storybook!
Hello, this week I am reading your storybook project. I am going over your coverage and introduction. First off, I wanted to mention that I like the color choices you used in your storybook. I think the grey tones and colors help darken your story into a more sinister and deep emotional one. I wasn’t sure when I saw your title if it was going to be a happy or sad story, but I think after seeing your coverage we should expect more sad stories about Sita. With that being said she has been through a lot of trauma. So sadness is to be expected. So, I like your coverage and I like your dark woodsy forest you have as the image. If it is possible you might want to find an image of Sita, maybe a sad one, and also put it on the coverage. It is always nice to see who I am reading about. In your introduction I appreciate how you have described how the soul works. The soul is a weird and hard to define thing, so it helps that you have explained it here. I love how the soul shards travel around the world, you have captivated my interest and I am excited to see what else you come up with. I did not notice any misspellings. Good luck with your storybook project!
Wow. This Storybook had me from the picture on the coverpage. It perfectly set the mood for your story and reflected the Storybook title. I loved your introduction. It was very mysterious, but also gave the reader all of the necessary information. I am curious to know where you got the idea for this. It is very unique, but I think it is an excellent example of what the Storybook is supposed to be. Also, good job on the site design. It is very clean-cut and professional. I chose Weebly for my Storybook because it is simple and walks me through the process. I was slightly intimidated by Google Sites because it is not as forgiving if you do not know what you are doing. However, your site looks great and your style of writing is fascinating. I will definitely be back to read more of your Storybook in the next few weeks!
Hey Youhao! So when I first read your storybook, back when you just had an introduction, I didn’t really understand what you were doing. However now that I’ve read both of the stories that you’ve added, I am very impressed with what you have come up with! I feel like these stories fit perfectly with our class and the Indian Epics themselves! I think you’ve done a fantastic job so far!
In your first story I love that you mentioned in your author’s note that the god was angry with Rama because he always doubted Sita’s loyalty, which is perfect! A great motivation for the god who helped the two meet! In the second story I love the way that Rama’s fears became his challenges. I love that you used the god Kartikeya and his peacock as part of the challenge itself. I think this has really turned into a great storybook so far! Great job Youhao!
Hi Youhao! I enjoyed reading your storybook! I liked the picture you used for your cover page. I thought it flowed well with your storybook. Your introduction was well written and easy to follow. It did not give a lot of information away but gave a good picture of what the storybook would be about. I also enjoyed reading the stories you have added so far. I also think that these stories flow well with the overall theme. The authors' note at the end helped add more information about your story and helped the reader clear any misunderstandings. great job!
Hi Youhao! I enjoyed reading your storybook! I liked the picture you used for your cover page. I thought it flowed well with your storybook. Your introduction was well written and easy to follow. It did not give a lot of information away but gave a good picture of what the storybook would be about. I also enjoyed reading the stories you have added so far. I also think that these stories flow well with the overall theme. The authors' note at the end helped add more information about your story and helped the reader clear any misunderstandings. great job!
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ReplyDeleteOverall I really enjoyed your storybook introduction, it’s entertaining, it’s appealing aesthetically, and gives a very nice amount of information. I like how you explained the five different parts of a soul first before you introduced the actual characters and that was what drew me into your story. However I feel that you could expound a little more fully on what happened with Sita and Indrajit, also more on what Rama’s objective is. I did notice a few grammar errors in the beginning of the introduction such as: you used “leaded” which should be “led”. I think these errors are mostly in the second paragraph and it might help if you have someone else read it or say your sentences aloud. Most of your errors include missing articles such as “the” which helps the sentence flow smoothly. Reading through it again, I would also like to see a little more description of the different parts of a soul because some aspects are more fully covered in your introduction than others. However I can see that you’re trying hard not to give away any parts of the actual storybook and I think you have a great direction for your storybook!
ReplyDeleteHello, this week I am reading your storybook project. I am going over your coverage and introduction. First off, I wanted to mention that I like the color choices you used in your storybook. I think the grey tones and colors help darken your story into a more sinister and deep emotional one. I wasn’t sure when I saw your title if it was going to be a happy or sad story, but I think after seeing your coverage we should expect more sad stories about Sita. With that being said she has been through a lot of trauma. So sadness is to be expected. So, I like your coverage and I like your dark woodsy forest you have as the image. If it is possible you might want to find an image of Sita, maybe a sad one, and also put it on the coverage. It is always nice to see who I am reading about. In your introduction I appreciate how you have described how the soul works. The soul is a weird and hard to define thing, so it helps that you have explained it here. I love how the soul shards travel around the world, you have captivated my interest and I am excited to see what else you come up with. I did not notice any misspellings. Good luck with your storybook project!
ReplyDeleteWow. This Storybook had me from the picture on the coverpage. It perfectly set the mood for your story and reflected the Storybook title. I loved your introduction. It was very mysterious, but also gave the reader all of the necessary information. I am curious to know where you got the idea for this. It is very unique, but I think it is an excellent example of what the Storybook is supposed to be. Also, good job on the site design. It is very clean-cut and professional. I chose Weebly for my Storybook because it is simple and walks me through the process. I was slightly intimidated by Google Sites because it is not as forgiving if you do not know what you are doing. However, your site looks great and your style of writing is fascinating. I will definitely be back to read more of your Storybook in the next few weeks!
ReplyDeleteHey Youhao! So when I first read your storybook, back when you just had an introduction, I didn’t really understand what you were doing. However now that I’ve read both of the stories that you’ve added, I am very impressed with what you have come up with! I feel like these stories fit perfectly with our class and the Indian Epics themselves! I think you’ve done a fantastic job so far!
ReplyDeleteIn your first story I love that you mentioned in your author’s note that the god was angry with Rama because he always doubted Sita’s loyalty, which is perfect! A great motivation for the god who helped the two meet! In the second story I love the way that Rama’s fears became his challenges. I love that you used the god Kartikeya and his peacock as part of the challenge itself. I think this has really turned into a great storybook so far! Great job Youhao!
Hi Youhao! I enjoyed reading your storybook! I liked the picture you used for your cover page. I thought it flowed well with your storybook. Your introduction was well written and easy to follow. It did not give a lot of information away but gave a good picture of what the storybook would be about. I also enjoyed reading the stories you have added so far. I also think that these stories flow well with the overall theme. The authors' note at the end helped add more information about your story and helped the reader clear any misunderstandings. great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Youhao! I enjoyed reading your storybook! I liked the picture you used for your cover page. I thought it flowed well with your storybook. Your introduction was well written and easy to follow. It did not give a lot of information away but gave a good picture of what the storybook would be about. I also enjoyed reading the stories you have added so far. I also think that these stories flow well with the overall theme. The authors' note at the end helped add more information about your story and helped the reader clear any misunderstandings. great job!
ReplyDelete